:: Death Day ::

:: today is not about fitness. nor is it about speed. it is not about the numbers; i do not care about calories burned or average heart rate. i will not critique my fitness, technique, or form in my mind. resisting tempatation, i remain calm so as to soak it all in; figure out what it all means. under my jacket i wear the same jersey i had on that pivotal day 6 years ago, which usually hangs in a hallowed place in my closet. i can feel it there. i feel the scar on my scalp under my helmet. i remember the way the forest looked and smelled and felt. i remember the deer and i wonder if he knows the chain of events that his presence set in motion. like a signpost along the road of life, he marks the beginning of a new direction. at first it seemed like a detour, an inconvience. and at an especially inconvient time. but such are death days. i fear that if i hadn't been taken so low, i would not have understood the meaning of the climb back up. and so today is a somber celebration. ::