:: Hillbilly Deight ::

:: when a ferrari is crafted in maranello, it dreams of one day breathing it's v12 fire on the f1 monte carlo course for the monaco fans. but when a chevy is assembled in detroit, the best it can hope for is belching some smoke and getting a lap or two in at hesston before the hood falls off ::

:: took a much needed break from comp-prep to watch the t.war battle it out with their 305 sprint car at the hesston, pa dirt track. for $5 you can get yourself 2 hotdogs, a pepsi, and the best damn bag of peanuts you'll ever eat. but there are a few rules to going to a dirt track race, so review the list below before you venture to one ::

- DO NOT take credit cards, debit cards, or anything of the like... cash only! i made this mistake the first time i went, and i had to speak to a 400 lb chap named 'bubba' who exclaimed through only 3 or 4 teef 'we ain't got none of them round here.' had to drive 45 minutes to get to the closest atm.
- DO NOT eat the cheeseburgers. eat hot dogs. this is about the only time they are safer. the cheeseburgers are scraped off the bottom of the trailers at load in that afternoon.
- keep your mouth shut after the third lap or so. unless you like a mouthful of dirt.
- DO NOT wear nice jeans or a polo shirt. find the rattiest, greasiest thing you can. you'll still look like you just came from church.
- DO NOT make eye contact with the locals. if one does catch you eye acknowledge him with a grunted 'eh buddhay' and move away quickly.
- be prepared for some interesting 'plumbing' in the 'restrooms'.
- if you loose your car in the parking lot, just squat down. you'll quickly find your car under all the jacked pick-em-ups.
- wrecks are NOT cool. rubbing is.
- when in the pits, lend a hand ripping the dangling bumpers off during yellow flags.
- always root for the car with the most parts falling off.